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The NEW Storybook

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Post by Spike Matthews Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:18 pm

I think it worked quite well, really.
Nice to see that we can write stream-of-consciousness stuff.
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Sun Jul 26, 2009 12:14 am

Stream-of-consciousness, yes that was the term I was looking for...thanks, Spike! Unfortunately, it was not in my stream-of-consciousness.

By the way...new Zaranda segment is up. After the past few Zaranda segments, this one is very light on the action and running around, but it starts to answer some questions as well as raise some new questions.

By the way...not sure if I said this before or not, Tajemnica is the Polish word for mystery.
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Post by Spike Matthews Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:25 am

Bearing that in mind, I shall now go read your segment.

EDIT:
Nice one. There's some seriously complex stuff going on here.
Actually, the thought strikes me that it may be a good idea to keep Ralkin's life and sections relatively simple for now, or else we may be in danger of plot overload. That works in my head anyway, as Ralkin likes to live the simple life.
Yes, he does have a cluttered, shady and convoluted past, but right here and right now, he's happy with playing it safe.

...or he was...


Last edited by Spike Matthews on Sun Jul 26, 2009 9:56 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : update after reading the story.)
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:04 am

Keeping Ralkin's segments more or less free of big, dramatic events is a good way to juxtapose what he is going through vs. what everyone else is going through just before they meet up.

One thing I've noticed, and maybe it's not a big deal, is that I'm not clear on the passage of time on any of the segments. I believe I mentioned it was near sunset when Zaranda left the tarvern, but then I forgot to follow through with anything else indicating time anywhere else. I suppose it's not a crucial element right now, so ambiguous time flow is ok.
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Post by Spike Matthews Sun Jul 26, 2009 1:28 pm

True - since folks are still in the pre-meet stages, they're all on their own schedules.
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Post by mnesomeye Mon Jul 27, 2009 9:06 am

Ya. *nod* I agree, time doesn't matter much right now. It's just the meeting up part that we need to work out. ^_^

And Cassius is quite the vain one, ain't he? I searched the word 'vain' on BabyNames.com (it was my favourite website for a few weeks this summer holiday - don't ask) and I like his the most. Damaris' name means 'gentle'... and it's also a girl's name. Very Happy

In my defence - I've heard of girls called Alex and Tyler! So boys can have girls' names, can't they? >.>

One more thing: they both have quite Latin/Greek sounding names. Coincidence? *raises eyebrow mysteriously*
(Or perhaps I just have a thing for Latin names. Like Ademis. And Dacian. And Ibis. And Maia. Razz )

*microphone fades out*
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Tue Jul 28, 2009 9:49 am

Very nice...now we know the identity of the boy who was captured. By the way...are the Heaytons one of the ruling elite families/clans?

By the way...I actually know someone named Damaris and she said her name means gentle calf. Plus, people always seem to think Damaris a guy's name anyway, so this definitely works.
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Post by Maledicus Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:31 pm

Trying to keep slaughtering several people as PG-13 as possible...I think it mostly worked. Kinda.
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Post by Spike Matthews Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:52 am

Wow - I like the PG-13 way ye described the action (heh). Seriously, I think you handled it quite well.

Just a small point, though. A 'tinker' is akin to a gypsy, a travelling person that sells bits and bobs and/or mend household items. A 'tinkerer' is someone that mucks around with things, usually mechanically.
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Post by Maledicus Sun Aug 02, 2009 12:03 pm

Oooops! *grins* Thanks dude!
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:48 pm

Nice...minimal gore, but definitely got the idea of what happened. Also, Aran's past is still quite mysterious.
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Post by mnesomeye Tue Aug 04, 2009 11:22 am

Nice addition there, Mal; thanks for continuing the "this is so not my day" thing! *laughs* About the Heaytons: yes, they are one of the elite clans - they are the wealthiest, and so naturally they are also the most well-equipped (as in, the people and weapons they have are highly trained/advanced).

However, whether they are the most powerful of the four is debatable; the Heaytons work better as individuals, and although they all get along they actively avoid working with each other. This makes large-scale operations difficult, but they are the first family people will call if missions involve stealth or individual excellence.

This reminds me - I need to make character sheets for Cassius and Damaris! Thanks for the reminder, Obs~
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:11 pm

Oh, by the way...I have a new segment up now!
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Post by Spike Matthews Sun Aug 09, 2009 3:31 pm

New entry up from me - it's the penultimate 'solo Ralkin' part. He's about to leave the wolf behind and get caught up in the action..
Also, there's a note on the village in the Yapra thread.
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Sun Aug 09, 2009 6:56 pm

Ralkin sure does end up in some oddly timed situations with his jaunting. Nice bit of comedy there, Spike!
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:23 am

I should have a new Zaranda segment ready in the next few days...hopefully.
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:25 am

Well...maybe a few more days. Had trouble with how the segment was going, then I changed the way things are presented...less linear. Then I had trouble with some basic logic and motivation issues. I THINK I have those ironed out now. Should have it ready soon...and it's not all that long of a segment either.
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Post by Spike Matthews Thu Aug 27, 2009 1:45 pm

That's the way it goes...
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:25 pm

New Zaranda segment is up now!
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Post by Spike Matthews Sat Aug 29, 2009 3:34 am

Brilliant bit of work and well worth the wait!
Inter family rivalry, an invitation to betrayal (or a test, maybe?) and a corking demonstration on the versatility of her abilities!
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Post by mnesomeye Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:03 pm

Yay, more about Zaranda! ^_^ That was very well written, by the way.
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:40 pm

Thanks Spike & Mnes. I'm glad I didn't post the first version...it was missing something. Added the whole caterpillar/bird thing and dropped some other historical stuff which can be brought out when it makes more sense.
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Post by Spike Matthews Mon Aug 31, 2009 1:56 am

Right - I need to come up with a new Ralkin segment. This should be the final solo entry before joining up with others. Not sure who he'll be meeting up with first.
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Post by mnesomeye Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:41 am

SPIKEY, WAIT! It's important!! Please please please can we keep the wolf? Sad
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Post by Ob Thundersnot Mon Aug 31, 2009 8:25 pm

Nice way to get the Cassius/Jarvis/Aran/Candlestein group out of trouble, Mnes! By the way, looks like Jarvis became Jarvais there for a little bit?

When, oh, when will the mysterious Savv show up? confused
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